Scary and terrifying – monsters have become a part of mass culture. It is hard to say that they teach us but observing them can enrich us with a deep insight into marketing horrors. What do monsters and Marketing Automation in common? Read the post and see which monster you are!

Bloodsucker from Transylvania

Vampire: a mythological creature – undead, almost immortal, feeding on human blood. He can hypnotize people and turn them into mindless servants.

In marketing, one could compare a vampire to someone who is constantly taking, without giving anything in return or a marketer that focuses solely on the company. Shocking news – monopoly times have gone away. Such actions won’t affect the modern customer. And certainly they’ll be counter-effective in the long run – the Internet cannot and will not keep its mouth shut about the dirty play. Whether it comes to the social campaign or company’s not-so-fair-play actions – there are always some people who will start talking about it.

How to become effective as Hell? Remember that vampires can share the gift of eternal youth! All they need to do is to treat the person as a partner, not food. Share what you have and know with your audience. Do not “steal” the contact details. Trade them for knowledge, for a free delivery, for the ticket to the event where you will be a speaker. Use Gated Content skillfully. Let others grow with you. And if they recommend your company to their friends, then pay back in even more tangible way. It deserves at least a large discount. Create the affiliate program and loyalty program for the long-term customers. In other words, build a community around your brand.

Reinfeld will do anything for Nosferatu From Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht, 1979

Dusty Mummy

90 years ago, the Howard Carter’s team disrupted the eternal sleep of the Tutankhamun Mummy. Unknowingly they had taken from the tomb (apart from jewels and other artifacts) a “curse”, which in quite unclear circumstances took away a dozen of lives or so. From the scientific point of view, the curse is blamed on microbes. Tiny organisms from thousands of years ago attacked the unsuspecting archaeologists.

The Mummy Marketer plays dirty with his audience. He buys their data and then spams the mailboxes. He lies that he will send only one email a week and in addition does not check the messages for malware and viruses.

How to become effective as Hell? It’s simple –  be fair and square. While building a database, build it organically (if you need inspiration – here you will find a guide to building a mailing list). Always ask for permission to send emails. Use double opt-in to make sure that the people you are writing to are really interested in your news. While creating an email marketing strategy focus on quality and personalization of the message. You can choose from many tools, including dynamic emails and messages to save the abandoned carts. And for Pete’s sake – do not send viruses!

Mummy approves the good practices of permission marketing Source – Tumblr


Frankenstein’s Creature

Mary Shelley’s creation has taken over the mass culture for years. A monster created by a scientist trying to unravel the mystery of death. The result of his many years of research is the discovery of a way of restoring the lives of the deceased. Unfortunately, the experiment ends tragically – instead of the ideal, Victor Frankenstein revives the monster – intelligent, humane in his nature, but unable to function in society.

Marketing Victor reanimates the campaigns and pieces of content that once brought any result. It is true that the recycling of content is considered a good practice. However, keep in mind the tremendous pace of change if it comes to online trends. The re-heated tupperware rarely is as good as new. Sometimes it simply stinks.

How to become effective as Hell? You can revive and recycle, but you have to do smart. The key is a deep and profound analysis of behavioral data and customer interest. Choose those articles and creations that drew engagement and interest and distribute them wisely.

Revive your marketing From Frankenstein, 1931


Sent by Skynet, the T-800 and T-1000 androids were supposed to eliminate the rebellion leader’s mother, Sarah Connor so the rebellion would never come to be. Both of them were able to learn and adapt to new conditions.

Of course, marketing equivalent will be artificial intelligence and machine learning, which can be employed to work with customers, recommend them products and profile them.

How to become effective as Hell? An advanced self-learning algorithm that analyzes the behavior of individual customers to predict future purchases. Then it sends personalized product recommendations according to what the algorithm deems most likely to be bought. It provides insight into customer purchase history, buyer’s journey, and analyzes the way products correlate in categories, allowing for highly appealing and eye-catching offers to be delivered to individual shoppers. All it needs is an opportunity to demonstrate its full potential. Use tools like SALESmanago Copernicus – Machine Learning & AI.


Self-learning and adaptation to the new environment. AI can do both From Terminator 2, 1991

Living Dead

George Romero revived the deceased in 1968. And marketers kill marketing tools every 2 months. If we believe experts, today we communicate with clients mainly through social media (we have a whole ebook about them) and mobile applications. But it’s not true! The old, tried, and tested methods of SMS, leaflet, sample, banner are still in play.

How to become effective as Hell? Find your style beyond fads. Don’t rush to new shiny channels just because everyone else does so. But also remember that trust for old-school methods doesn’t mean you practice them the same way they used to be practiced. Rather see how they evolve! Modern personalized email marketing doesn’t resemble spam from the 90. Also, banners or SMS changed due to Marketing Automation.

That is not dead which can eternal lie From Night of the Living Dead, 1968

Freddy Kruger

One, two – Freddy’s coming for you
Tree, four – better lock your door
Five, six – grab your crucifix
Seven, eight – gonna stay up late
Nine, ten – Never sleep again

Freddy knows when you’re sleeping! Freddy will find you. You can not run away from him. Never! The amount of data collected can be frightening for the average recipient. It is not worth emphasizing during every contact. The data you collect is meant to personalize the message, not to transform you into a scary stalker.

How to become effective as Hell? Stop saying that you personalize marketing, or personalize it for real. Reach your audience with the right message at the right time, in the right channel. True personalization is not a trick, but a result of deep understanding of your customers and it provides real help for the user. It feels like an assistance of friendly salesman at the store you often shop, who knows your habits and needs. With Marketing Automation you can achieve it, applying the practices like dynamic content, real-time actions, progressive profiling, and so on. Here’s our guideline to the true personalization.

You’re waking up and he’s still there From A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984 


He does not call, he does not write, he seems to have vanquished in the thin air. Marketers – ghosts end the relationship with the customer when the transaction is finalized. They disappear from the radar and they are chasing after new leads. Time to wake up! It does not work in the long run. A well-maintained customer is worth 1000 times more than a new lead.

Today, the development of user experience elements and the design of the customer acquisition path are super-emphasized. Neglecting these elements results in low retention of customers and outflow of leads from the funnel.

How to become effective as Hell?

Prepare for a journey your customer will make! If you won’t plan it, user will consider your website chaotic and irrelevant. Although he goes through 80% of the decision-making process on his own, you still are responsible for delivering him pleasant, convenient and intuitive experience. Planning buyer’s journey might turn into a journey for yourself – you will discover the exotic land of customer’s needs, habits and motivation. Need advice – check our  guide and learn how to handle the many channels your customers are moving in.

Myrtle misses you! From Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2005


Who would you add? Let us know in the comment section!

And if you happened to like the post – share it to spread this toothless smile among your friends.

Renfield will share for sure! From Dracula, 1931